Thursday, November 28, 2013

Hold Me Up!

It's early morning, and the house is quiet - it's dark outside, and everyone is still sleeping.  I love this time!  I sit in comfort (please don't let that be an idol!), and I soak in the beautiful truths in Your Word.  I feel like I can walk victoriously through anything.  But last night reminded me again that I cannot!

Not even half of our family is here under one roof, but still there are 11 kids, with eight of them being six and under.  That makes for lots of noise and lots of mess; lots of cooking and lots of dishwashing; lots of crying and lots of "Hey, Mimi...you know what?"  And things are not yet as they should be with my husband, family...  Trying to function in the midst of chaos has always been a challenge for me.  And while I know that I am growing in my walk with You, I still fail so often and so miserably.  Like last night...

My attitude went completely south by the evening hours.  My focus turned inward and it became all about me - "Oh, woe is poor me!"  "No one cares!  No one understands!  No one has it as hard as I do!"  "Am I even a believer?  How can I be and still feel this way??"  "God, why aren't You faster at changing me?  I want to be perfect, as You are perfect!"

In the quiet of the early morning hours I see things so differently.  Last night even my desire for perfection was all about me - so that I wouldn't have to suffer the humiliation of not being seen as perfect!!  So easily I move to worldly sorrow and take my eyes off of You, the Beginner and the Completer of my faith.  So quickly my soul begins to shrivel!

Thank you for Romans 7 this morning!!  "For I do not do what I want, but I do the very thing I hate!  For I know that nothing good dwells in me, that is in my flesh.  For I have the desire to do what is right, but not the ability to carry it out.  Wretched man that I am!  Who will deliver me from this death?  Thanks be to God through Jesus Christ our Lord!!!"

Thank you for this prayer verse this morning...  "Hold me up, that I may be safe and have regard for Your statues continually." (Psalm 119:117)  Please do that, Lord!  Thank You for reminding me it IS all about You.  You hold me up!  So that I may be safe - yasa' - open, wide, free!  Not shriveled!!  You support me so that I am free to have regard for Your statutes continually...like "suffer the little children!"  And "prefer one another!"  And "reverence Your husband!"  With Your support I am free to love the 1 Corinthians 13 way - in patience and kindness; without envy or boasting; without insisting on my own way; WITHOUT BEING IRRITABLE OR RESENTFUL!!"  With You holding me up, I can bear all things and endure all things...and count it all joy!!

Lord, only by Your power can this day end differently.  Please let me be singing when the evening comes!  And when I do, let me remember that it is ONLY because YOU hold me up!

Wednesday, November 20, 2013

Lord, Send Us a Man!

I've been slowly making my way through a large book on prayer by E.M. Bounds.  It's actually a collection of smaller books on the subject by that author.  The last several days, the name of the book within the book that I've been reading is "Power through Prayer."  It deals with the man in the pulpit, and how above all else, he must be a man of prayer.  With that in mind, I have been turning selections of E.M. Bounds' words into prayer as we seek a man for the pulpit of our own church...

Lord, send to us a man-

-whom the Holy Spirit can use - a man of prayer, a man mighty in prayer.  The Holy Spirit does not flow through methods, but through men.  He does not come on machinery, but on men.  He does not anoint plans, but men - men of prayer!

-whose preaching is not performance, but the outflow of his life!

-who is not a timid timeserver, place-seeker, men-pleaser, men-fearer, but is strong in faith in God and His Word!

-who is great in holiness, great in faith, great in love, great in fidelity, great for God!

-whose sufficiency is not in learning or planning, but whose sufficiency is in You!

-whose life and words are energized by the Spirit.  Truth unquickened by God's Spirit deadens as much as, or more than, error.

-who has been broken down in the inner man - surrendered to You; who has died to self.  Only crucified preaching can give life.  Crucified preaching can only come from a crucified man.

-who has sought, studied, fathomed, experienced the deep things of God; who has stood before the "throne, high and lifted up."

-who knows how to pray short, live, real heart prayers - direct, specific, ardent, simple, anointed prayers in the pulpit.  Whose short public prayers are effective and efficient because long, private ones have preceded them.  Who can say with Martin Luther, "I have so much business, I cannot get on without spending three hours daily in prayer."

-who goes to the (prayer) closet first, the study and activities second; who understands that prayer is the most serious work of our most serious years.  Preachers who are the mightiest in their closets with You are the mightiest in their pulpits with men.

-who understands that talking to men about God is a great thing, but talking to God for men is still greater.  Prayerless words, both in and out of the pulpit, are deadening.

-who prays "always with all prayer and supplication in the Spirit, and watches thereunto with all perseverance." (Eph. 6:18)

-who seeks You and seeks You early; who follows hard after You!

-who understands that there is an infinite distance between the betterment of an age by the force of an advancing civilization and its betterment by the increase of holiness and Christlikeness by the energy of prayer.  "The Jews' golden, religious age crucified Christ.  During the time of Christ, there was never more so-called piety, never less praying; never more indulgence, never less sacrifice; never more idolatry, never less devotion God; never more temple worship,  never less God worship; never more lip service, never less heart service; never more churchgoers, never fewer saints." (pg. 494)

-who realizes that a prepared heart is much more important than a prepared sermon.  A prepared heart will make a prepared sermon!

-who watches and fasts and prays!

-who has the simplicity, docility, humility, and faith of a child's heart.

-who has grace enough to preach the Gospel; who has struggled with his own heart and taught it humility, faith, love, truth, mercy, sympathy, and courage.

-who does not, in his sermons, make the mistake of including more thought than prayer, more head than heart.

-who sows with his heart in his study so as to reap a harvest for God.  The closet is the heart's study.

-who is not afraid to weep, because it is he who "goes forth weeping, bearing precious seed."  He it is who will come again with rejoicing, bringing his sheaves with him." (Psalm 126:6)

-who is not earnest, but anointed!  Oftentimes men grow exceedingly earnest over their own plans or movements.  Earnestness may be selfishness in disguise.  Anointing comes to the preacher not in the study but in the closet.  It is the sweetest exhalation of the Holy Spirit.  Earnestness is good and impressive; genius is gifted and great.  Thought kindles and inspires, but it takes a divine endowment - a more powerful energy than earnestness, genius, or thought - to break the chains of sin.  Unction is the anointing of the Holy Spirit, separating the believer for God's work and qualifying him for it.  Without it, no true spiritual results are accomplished.  Without anointing, the preacher is as potent as the pulpit itself.

-who realizes that anointing is a conditional gift.  Its presence is perpetuated and increased by the same process by which it was at first secured - by unceasing prayer to God, by impassioned desires after God, by seeking it with tireless zeal, by deeming all else loss and failure without it.

-who understands that this anointing comes directly from God in answer to prayer.  Only praying hearts are filled with this holy oil.  Only praying lips are anointed with this divine unction!

-who gives himself "continually to prayer, and to the ministry of the Word." (Acts 6:4)

-who prays exceedingly night and day!! (1Thess. 3:10)

"God wants elect men, men of whom self and the world have been severely crucified.  Their bankruptcy has so totally ruined self and the world that there is neither hope nor desire of recovery.  God wants men who by this insolvency and crucifixion have turned toward Him with perfect hearts."  (It appears Bounds calls a "perfect" heart one that truly knows its own total depravity!  Much food for future thought here...)

It was in my reading today that prayer for "a man" turned to conviction in my own heart...

He quotes Jonathan Edwards...  "If some Christians who have been complaining of their ministers had said and acted less before men and had applied themselves with all their might to cry to God for their ministers - has, as it were, risen and stormed heaven with their humble, fervent, and incessant prayers for them - they should have been much more in the way of success."

And back to E.M. Bounds...  "Our laborers must be God-chosen, God-sent, and God-commissioned.  But God does not send these laborers into His harvest without prayer. The failure of the laborers is owing to the failure of prayer.  The scarcity of laborers in the harvest is due to the fact that the church fails to pray for laborers according to His command."

I have not prayed near enough for previous pastors!  Lord, I cannot ask for a praying man in the pulpit while I am not a praying woman in the pew!  Lord, send us a praying man - YES!!  But more than that, MAKE US a praying people!  Make ME a praying woman!